software

i'm just rolling out of bed at 12:30. can't afford this. not any more. the light on the banyon tree outside is already high and dull. the morning winds have died to a lull. why do they trim that grass so much. i'll just have to ignore it. there are bigger fish to fry today and class starts in an hour. the longest class of the week. 합반. 난 왜이래...기운이 왜없을까...부분적으로...well that's a good sign. I'm thinking in korean more. miles to go before I sleep though. and i just got up. maybe those smoothies aren't helping. she said not to drink cold stuff. makes sense really. all the cold soaking up all the heat in the pit of the stomach. some pepperment oil should help. and that toe. more filing and more tea-tree oil. can't expect things so bad to get well in a day or after just one application. it took years to get that way. i've got to be willing to wait it out--see it out to the end. that's that kind of fasting Isaiah ment in 58. breaking from food was layer one. though i need to do that too. haven't done that in a while. well theres only room for so much. what was all that about josh and i moving that fridge around. dreams. all night moving a fridge. no wonder i'm still exhausted. and didn't in end with the fridge in the same place it started. yikes. only up to minutes and already its throbbing. enough thinking. be don't think. give those wires a break. hot water. that's what i need. and some bob marley too. i don't want to wait in vain. knock knock knock. 'and I still can knock some more'. yeah i need to knock more. 6 more months gone and i haven't knocked on any doors. cute enough girls here. byron's right. 'in time' doesn't mean 'in eternity'. and the Lord won't move a parked car. oh old joe. he was right. and he's in fifth gear now with marilyn. alright. enough of the should dos. got to stop shoulding myself. class in just less than an hour. hot water and then get to it.

the miracle of gl

It occured to me yesterday during and acupucture appointement that the words we use to describe what we feel are surprisingly limited. After twenty minutes of free-flowing gi it wasn't peace or tranquility or sublimity. It was like something in a song. Like I was feeling tamberine. Maybe borrowing from the world of music could help us hit home a little closer to what we feel. Some days are too full of trumpet. Some moments to heavy on the bass.

Easter Poem

On Easter

Sad face faceted to a wall she sings
Of bitter-sweet memories the things she brings
The things she brings so long and tall
Faceted with her to that self-same wall

The wall within has unseen cracks
That yielded to a thousand backs
Upon the day of spring will glide
To glorious heaven in glorious chariot ride

The chariots wheels are bright on fire
With faith that’s bought with hands in mire
The spinning flame will catch the gaze of all
Who are faceted with doubts upon the wall

The wall will break in one mighty blow
When the trumpets blare their hope to sow
And crumble down to dust in wondrous heap
Setting free the limbs of those that sleep

When those that sleep with watery eyes
Fall to their knees to see the skies
Will sing in round eternal voice
And vengeance from the grave rejoice

The things she brings within in her stay
And will not falter, fracture, fray
The wall without hence broken up
Can-not, will-not fill her cup

The body light now moving free
Marrowed, boned, skinned entity
Without she moves in visual grace
Within she hides an haggard face

Face faceted to a callous wall
Face feeling, failing in bitter gall
Bellows out a melody
That puts without within—mercy!

And then a second time the wall
Will fracture, tumble, crash and fall
Bright chariot wheels will flash the sky
And by the rounds reflect her eye.

Twice He was crossed to heal her face
Without, within, twice healed by grace.